it has been one of the worst days of my life

Get ready for TMI!  It's that, or leave now and never satiate your curiosity as to why this was one of the worst days I've experienced in my short 34 years.

I woke up this morning with bleeding from my bottom. 

I pee'd; I wiped; I fell into shock as blood (clots and all) came forth.

I called my doctor's answering service, and they got my doctor on the phone.  It was obvious I had awoken her from sleep.  Anyway, she didn't seem too concerned about the bleeding as it didn't sound like THAT much.  She said it sounded as if one of my many hemorrohids - oh, the joys of pregnancy - had a tear in it.  She said I should lay down and relax.  The bleeding should stop on its own.

So, I did that.  And Michael left for work - said he'd only take a half day and then come home.

Beth finally woke up; I got her breakfast.  Then my awesome child sat and played for an hour straight while I took a snooze.

I awoke having to pee again.  I pee'd; I wiped; and to my horror, double if not triple the amount of blood rushed forth!  To top that off, I had the urge to finally - after 3 or more days - go poop.  I tried, and the only thing that came out of my rectum - sorry for the TMI ya'll - was blood.  A fountain of blood.

I went into panic mode!  I had to get to the doctor!! NOW!!!  But, what to do with the child?!  I didn't want to scare her, but this couldn't be good!!!  Right?!

So she's been dying to go play with her friends at the daycare lately, and that popped into my head - THE DAYCARE!  I got ready, got her ready, got her some more food cause she was still hungry, and  I rushed over to her daycare. 

I LOVE those people!  Without hesitation, they took her back to her friends quickly as I broke down and explained that I needed to see a doctor NOW and didn't know where else to turn.  They took her, and I knew she'd have a great time.  I didn't have to worry about my Beth - PRAISE GOD!

Well, at that time, I'm bleeding more, and I'm starting to have AWFUL pains - TERRIBLE!  I don't know how I made it all the way to the city - 45 mins. away - to the doctor's office, but I got there.

I got there, and the doctor could do nothing for me.  She looked at my bottom, saw that it was beyond her skill to solve my problem, to ease my pain, to ANYTHING, and then referred me to a colon and rectal specialist just up the street.  A specialist who could see me in TWO HOURS!  Ugh!!

By then, the pain was unbearable.  All my Dr. B could do was lay me on my side, call to make the appointment for me, and let me stay at her office until appointment time.

I stayed, for an hour, then left - eager to get to the specialist.  I got there for my 2:00 appointment in immense pain, bleeding had slowed but my bottom felt like a knife was shoved up it!  Sorry, but that's what it felt like. 

Anyway,  the doctor didn't get in until 3:15.  During that wait time, Nurse Megan - God bless her - got me back to lie down, so at least I wasn't sitting.  When the doctor arrived, my nightmare REALLY began...

She was VERY short with me!  She walks in, no smile, no hello - that I remember - and asks, "What's wrong?"

I explain what happened to me this morning.  The bleeding, the hemorrhoids, the inability to poop, THE PAIN!

All that gets met with a call for Nurse Megan to prep me for examination. Then... the doctor returned with another doctor...  She didn't say a word to me.  She just stuck her finger forcefully up my rectum and began to push and pull like I never thought you could do to some one's behind and still have a behind left!!!!

She says during this, "Oh, no wonder you hurt!  There's a lot up here, and it's hard as stone!  I'll break it up for you!"

And that's when my tears started, and I couldn't stop crying!  It felt like she was carving a pumpkin - my bottom the pumpkin and her finger the knife!  It was that forceful, ya'll!!!!  And all this while, she ignores my cries of pain.  She just whispers I don't know what to the other doctor watching her actions.

When she's done, she says, "There!  That should help you out. I got some of it, but you should be able to pass the rest on your own.  Get dressed.  Talk to you in a minute."  She exits.

She says all this as I'm hysterically crying and Nurse Megan - God bless her - is trying to calm me down with tissues and her sweet voice, "Just breathe.  It's okay.  Take your time.  Relax."  Then she exits.

And I am left there feeling as if I've just been beaten and left for dead.

Finally, I compose myself, and the doctor re-enters.  Perhaps she is conscious of how much pain she caused me because she enters and says sorry for hurting me.  She gives me a few "doctor's orders"  and a perscription and exits again.

I was so taken aback that all I could do was nod my head.  Then drive home in tears.  And in pain.  Because she didn't remove all the hard stool - and I had an hour's drive home in city traffic.

I've since been home now for 3 hours and have passed - PAINFULLY - the rest of what she left in there. I'm on bed rest for a day or two - mean doctor's orders.  And although my pain has subsided, my emotional pain from the day is still strong.  So much so, my heart won't stop beating so hard and I'm struggling to breathe. 

I need sleep!  Restful sleep!  Please pray I'm able to recover from this because right now I feel like CRAP.

Um - no - no pun intended. :-(


  1. Sometimes I wonder why these people, with absolutely no 'people skills' chose to 'help people' as a life-long career. I'm sorry you had such an unsympathetic doctor who not only hurt you physically but emotionally too. Shame on her!!!

  2. Oh my lord, Jamie. I want to stab that doctor in her eyeball!

    Did you read my post about poop last week? Things didn't go wrong with my poop shoot until AFTER I had Joshua, but when I had to have the exam to figure out what was going wrong, my PA was fantastic about it. She was all kind and apologetic and I was like "Well, it's not like I think you're exactly looking forward to this. We're good." (I mean, me? Dry? Sarcastic? No way, right?)

    I hate that pregnancy is so tough for you. Hang in there.

  3. I hate that you had to go through that! I cannot even imagine! Sending prayers that you have no more pain and never have to see that crazy doctor again!

  4. I agree with Miranda on that Dr needing a good stabbing in the eyeball...or maybe she just needs to be examined as she examined you! People skills, bedside manner...unfortunately these are not skills they teach in med school...and way too many individuals fly through all the classes and would never pass their boards if people skills were to be graded! *hugs*

  5. Wow, went through so much...and didn't even know what was exactly going on. I'm so sorry for the physical and emotional pain you are going through. Hoping it calms down soon. ((hugs))

  6. Oh, Jamie! I'm so sorry to hear of this excruciating experience and the doctor's lack of compassion or care about how painful and that was. I really, really hope you are feeling better now though!!!

  7. I just found your blog and I am SO sorry for all you went through. I had a lot of problems after my daughters stillbirth and that made it even worse because I was just ready to heal physically so I could start healing emotionally...I pray you are getting the rest you need!

  8. Oh my gosh hun!!! I am SO sorry! That sounds like the worst day ever!!! I didn't read this till today but I will pray that it doesn't happen again and that you heal up really quick! Much love to you! (((hugs)))