the appropriate response

Tonight was the 3rd Annual Remembrance Celebration (aka Rainbow of Roses) sponsored by the Zoe Rose Foundation.  This event is hosted every year in honor of pregnancy and infant loss awareness day/month.  I had some other amazing ladies - and fellow baby loss mommas from my church - go with me!

It was a beautiful night!  The ceremony was perfect - Zoe Rose's mom shared Zoe's story, and a few other mommas shared their babies' stories.  There were a few songs sang by a lovely lady along with readings of poems. 

There was a speaker there that is a pregnancy/infant loss counselor, and I was particularly struck by what she shared.  She talked about how the bible says... the good Lord gives, and He takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.  She talked about how the last part there, "blessed be the name of the Lord," is tough to say but very necessary.  She emphasized that the appropriate response to the loss of our babies was gratitude (for having had what we had, however little for some)... blessed be the name of the Lord!  She illustrated this by telling the following story...

She knew a family that went overseas - I forget the reason why - but they had to  go overseas and they couldn't take all their kids toys with them, so this familly gave the bigger toys to the speaker and her family to keep and play with until they returned from overseas.  Well, you can imagine, the speakers kids had a great time playing with the toys and enjoyed them thouroughly!  And when the family who had gone overseas came back and came to retrieve the toys, the speaker's daughter threw a holy fit!  She didn't want to lose those toys she had becomes so fond of!! The speaker had a hard time explaining to her daughter that they toys were never hers to begin with - that their owner was letting them borrow them for a time - and now they had to be returned to the original owner.  The daughter was grief stricken!  And still the speaker tried to explain to her daughter that the appropriate response to the owner coming back for her toys was to say, "Thank you, for having let me borrow those toys and play with them for that short time."  Despite the sorrrow, the speaker tried to explain to her daughter that she should focus on being thankful for what she had or the sadness would overcome her, and as a result turn her ugly.

This whole story was said to hit home what our (pregnancy/baby loss mommas) appropriate response should be to the loss of our children - that is gratitude.  However hard it is, we should be more thankful than sorrowful that we had what time we did with the little souls granted to us... whether it was a short 8 weeks like me or more into a second trimester or even a few months after birth.  Whatever time we were given with those angels, we need to be thankful for it, and despite the sorrow, not hang onto the grief but pour out instead gratitude.

I loved that story!!!  And I loved the candle lighting after the ceremony that filled a hill...

Here's the little light in honor of our angel baby...

And so I'll end this post by saying how grateful I am for having had my Angel Baby!  He/She has changed my life in so many ways - most good!  I am so grateful for this!!  I am so grateful for the things I am now doing to help those who've suffered a loss - my blog, the message board I'm participating in, the online bible study ladies whom I love... And I'm so grateful for what I plan on doing in memory of my Angel Baby - next year a candle lighting at my church, to participate again in this even, to maybe lead a bible study at my church, and maybe help out with an online ministry... the possibilites are endless, and make me happy! 

Angel Baby, thank you so much for what you've done for me and others!  You will never be forgotten!!  Mommy loves you!


  1. Thank you so much for attending and participating. I am so thankful that the evening was special for you and that you felt some comfort in honoring your angel. Maybe you could be one of our speakers next year? Please send an email to if you'd like us to put you on our program for next year. It is very difficult to find the gratitude in loss and that was one thing Jeanine worked on with me for a long time, but I think it was the most important thing for me to understand and believe in. I no longer drown in grief, yes I have daily moments of reflection, remembrance, and sadness...but I am not crippled by it anymore. We are so honored to remember all of these precious lives. Thank you for your post!